Simply the folks next door
by thegirl20
Summary: A few little domestic moments with Ruby and Regina. (Red Queen)
1. This is not a puppy love

Coffee is definitely amongst her favourite things about this world compared with the old one. There's definitely some magic that takes place between the grinding of those beans and the production of the wonderfully dark elixir. She's standing by the coffee machine, waiting for her first cup, considering the possibility of this when the back door opens. Without even turning to look, she stretches up and grabs another mug.

"How was your night?" she asks, glancing over her shoulder, surprised that Ruby isn't already wrapped around her. It's kind of a thing. Ruby's affectionate at the best of times, but after a night running through the woods full of wolf adrenaline, she's always particularly tactile. But not this morning it would appear. She's still hovering by the door. Regina turns fully and immediately her eyes go to Ruby's abdomen, which is much fuller than it was when she left last night. And it's moving. Regina brings her eyes up to meet Ruby's.

"Is there something you want to tell me?" she asks, raising an eyebrow.

Just as Ruby opens her mouth to respond, a high pitched yipping sound comes from the squirming mass inside her top.

"Did your stomach just bark?" Regina asks, the eyebrow climbing even higher. "I'm used to it growling, but this is new."

"It's..." Ruby begins, before biting her lip. And then a small, grey, scruffy head pops out of her jacket.

"Is that..."

"It's a dog, not a wolf," Ruby is quick to reassure her. "I found him last night in the woods. He was shivering so I...I warmed him up and he kinda stuck with me. And now..."

"And now he thinks you're his mother," Regina finishes, her mouth settling into a firm line.

"I...guess," Ruby says with a shrug, stretching her neck so that the puppy will stop licking her chin.

"And what do you suggest we do with him?" Regina asks. "We can't have a pet. It's bad enough that _you_ shed all over the couch three nights a month."

Ruby frowns. "I do _not_ ," she protests. "And...I didn't really think about what we'd do with him. I just couldn't leave him outside in the cold."

"Well, there's a perfectly good animal shelter that will take him," Regina says, finally pouring two cups of coffee. "I'll drop him off there on my way to work."

She picks up the mugs and turns, but stops when she is confronted by Ruby's large, watery eyes. The pup appears to be picking up on her mood, as it's whining and rubbing its head against Ruby's chin.

"No, Ruby, don't even start" Regina says, shaking her head. "We both work. We don't have the time for a pet."

"A pet?" Henry's voice breaks into the conversation. Regina sighs as her son's eyes light up when they land on the bundle of fluff in Ruby's arms. "Oh my God he's awesome!" Henry darts across the room and takes the puppy from Ruby, holding him close and laughing when he gets excited and starts licking anything in reach.

"Henry," Regina tries to interject, but she's being completely ignored.

"What's his name?" Henry asks Ruby.

"I didn't give him one," Ruby says, glancing at Regina. "Yet."

"We'll call him Tramp," Henry decides, placing the pup on the floor and letting him sniff out his new surroundings. "He looks like a Tramp."

"We're not keeping him, dear," Regina tries again. "Pets are a lot of responsibility and I ca-"

"I'll look after him!" Henry pipes up, turning pleading eyes on his mother. "Please, mom! I promise. I'll train him and feed him and walk him..."

"Henry," Regina begins. Henry scoops the dog up again and holds him up in front of Regina.

"Look at him, Mom. He's adorable."

Ruby slinks closer, looking at Regina through her lashes. "I'd help Henry with him," she says, quietly. "We'd make sure he was well-behaved. You'd hardly know he was here.

"I fail to see how you're going to make sure the dog is well-behaved when the two of you most certainly are _not_ ," Regina says, but when confronted with three sets of puppy eyes, her resolve crumbles. She sighs and directs her attention to Henry. "You will take responsibility for him. You will feed him, clean up after him, you will take him for w-"

"I promise!" Henry almost yells with excitement.

Regina nods, before shifting her attention to Ruby. "And you will ensure that he keeps that promise."

Before she knows what's happening, her feet leave the floor and she's being spun around in a circle. She catches flashes of Henry doing the same to the puppy and she does her best to hide her smile at their exuberance. Before long, she's placed back on her feet and her lips are occupied by a very enthusiastic Ruby. She kisses back for a while before placing a hand on Ruby's cheek and pushing her back, gently. She meets dancing green eyes and raises an eyebrow.

"I mean it, Ruby," she says. "I don't have time for extra responsibilities."

"I know you don't," Ruby quickly agrees, stealing another kiss. "You won't even know he's here."

* * *

It's almost a week later and Regina is cleaning up the kitchen after a quick supper. Ruby is on the late shift at the diner and Henry is staying with Emma for the night. She's just about to switch the light off when a small whine catches her attention. Looking down, she sees the puppy - she refuses to call him _Tramp_ \- looking up at her with his little tail wagging and his tongue hanging out.

"Bed," she says, pointing in the direction of the basket Ruby and Henry set up for him. The puppy doesn't move, just continues to look up at her with eyes too large for its tiny head. "Bed," she commands again, using her most authoritative voice. The puppy yips in response, as if he thinks it's a game. Regina sighs. She switches the light off and closes the door, making sure not to look at him. Falling for Ruby's puppy eyes is bad enough, she's not going to let this little animal dictate her behaviour.

She heads through to the living room and sits down on the couch, picking up some papers she brought home to read. The glass of wine she had with supper sits almost untouched and she lifts it to her lips, taking a long sip. She's barely read a paragraph when it starts. High pitched whining. She grits her teeth and ignores it. But when it continues, she finds herself unable to ignore the clear distress in the sound. With a heavy sigh, she pushes to her feet and storms back to the kitchen.

Regina pushes the door open gently in case the little thing is directly behind it. Before it's even quarter of the way open, a furry body brushes by her ankles and makes a break for the living room. Regina sighs and follows. The pup is sniffing around the chair Henry usually sits in to watch TV, probably missing his master. Well, that's something Regina can relate to. She recalls many an evening, after the curse broke, that she spent in Henry's room, touching his things and hugging his pillow. "He's not here," she tells the dog. "He'll be back tomorrow. And Ruby will be home soon." Catching herself, she shakes her head. Why is she talking to the thing like it's going to understand her?

She takes her seat again and the movement draws the pup's attention and he bounds over to her, happy to have company. Regina lifts her document again and starts to read. The dog seems content to play at her feet for a while, but before long he starts rubbing his head against her calf and whining. She bends over a little. As soon as their eyes meet, his tail starts wagging and his mouth opens in a doggy smile that reminds Regina of Ruby's wolf. She rolls her eyes and scoops him up, placing him on her lap.

"Do _not_ tell anyone about this," she warns him as he clumsily stands up and tries to lick her. A gentle hand on his back soon has him curling up and falling asleep, his little breaths coming in quick puffs. She keeps stroking his soft fur as she returns her attention to her reading. Every so often, he will let out a soft whine or yip, bringing a smile to Regina's face.

The hour grows late and the end of the report seems to be no nearer. Careful not to jostle the little dog, Regina turns, lifting her legs onto the couch and leaning back into the cushions. The pup adjusts himself, sprawling out over the now flat surface of Regina's abdomen. Before she can start reading again, a voice from behind her cuts in.

"And I thought _I_ was the only mutt for you."

Regina's head whips up to find Ruby grinning down at her. She scowls.

"You are a majestic, powerful and beautiful creature," she says. "I won't have you referring to yourself as a mutt."

" _You_ did," Ruby counters, leaning on the back of the couch. "Last month."

"You had just shaken mud and leaves all over the kitchen!" Regina whispers loudly, conscious of the sleeping dog.

"Well, yeah, but in a very powerful and majestic way!" Ruby protests.

Regina narrows her eyes, deciding to change the subject before Ruby brings up the fact that Regina also referred to her as a mutt the month before last when she left huge muddy pawprints all the way from the back door to their bedroom. "Your dog is very needy."

"Maybe he just likes you?" Ruby says, stretching over to join Regina in stroking the pup.

"Well, I _do_ have a way with animals," Regina agrees, hiding a smile.

"You really do," Ruby says, her eyes growing darker. "How about we put him in his basket and you can come upstairs and have your way with _me_?"

"That may be your worst line to date, dear," Regina says, shaking her head.

"It's definitely up there." Ruby scrunches up her nose. "But did it work?"

Regina sighs. "Yes. Meet me upstairs. _Without_ the dog."


	2. Love is like a stove

"You're going to fry."

Ruby looks over her shoulder, frowning. Regina is settling herself on a sun-lounger, under a parasol, with a book. Ruby's susceptibility to seasickness has gifted them the perfect excuse _not_ to accompany the rest of the party on the glass-bottomed boat trip which forms part of Mary Margaret's highly organised agenda for the day. They've decided to spend their few precious private hours on the beach.

"I'm applying lotion," Ruby protests, holding up the bottle.

Regina's right eyebrow becomes visible above her sunglasses. "That's practically olive oil, dear."

"It has a protection factor of 10...that means you're protected for ten hours, right?" Ruby says, going back to applying the oil to her skin. Regina watches from behind her darkened lenses, her eyes trail down Ruby's long legs, watching them become slick and shiny.

"I'm relatively certain that's not how it works," Regina murmurs, reaching into her beach bag and pulling out a large, white bottle. "Use this one." She tosses it to Ruby, who catches it deftly. The younger woman purses her lips as she reads the bottle.

"Factor 50?" She shakes her head. "Why don't I just wear a full wetsuit and diving helmet?"

"Suit yourself," Regina says, opening her book to the bookmark. "But don't come crying to me when you're in agony later tonight."

"Not all of us have naturally gorgeous skin all year round," Ruby says, applying some lotion to her cheeks and nose. "Some of us have to work at a healthy glow."

"Your skin is flawless," Regina says, not looking up from her book. "You're only going to damage it."

Bending her head to get under the parasol, Ruby carefully sits on Regina's lounger, so as not to tip it over - she'd never hear the end of it. She holds out her bottle to Regina. "Do my back?"

With a sigh, Regina places her book down and sits up, turning as best she can. Letting some of the warm oil drizzle into her hands, she applies it liberally to Ruby's back and shoulders, enjoying having the freedom to touch her without a Charming toddler screaming in her ear, or Henry tell them to 'get a room' with that terrible teenage attitude he's adopted of late. Her hands glide down the smooth skin and, when they reach the strap of her bikini, it magically unties itself.

Ruby's reflexes kick in and she brings her hands up to keep the garment in place. "What are you doing?"

"It's bad enough you're asking me to baste you," Regina says, still happily exploring the expanse of skin under her hands. "At _least_ let me make sure you're properly covered."

"Oh, yeah, 'cause that teeny little spaghetti strap would've made all the difference." Ruby's head is lolling forward, her hands still cupping her breasts to keep her bikini in place. It would be a perfect moment to kiss her neck, if only it weren't' slathered in coconut scented oil. Regina sighs, perhaps coming to the beach wasn't the best use of their alone time. She finishes coating Ruby's back and removes her hands, wiping them on a towel. Ruby whines softly.

"Awwww, you're done already?" She turns to look over her shoulder at Regina with a grin. "I was enjoying that."

Regina nudges her. "Don't get any ideas," she warns. "The _second_ you move you'll be covered from head to foot in the sand which is going to stick to that gloopy oil. Sand is _not_ something which has a place in...pleasurable activities."

"I will no-" A slight gust of wind leaves Ruby coated in a thin covering of sand. "Damn it." She sighs. "Well, at least tie this damn thing back up. Unless you want me to flash the whole beach."

The ends of the bikini straps come together and tie themselves into a perfect bow. Ruby lets go of her breasts, tentatively, as if she still expects it to fall off. Satisfied it's staying on, she stands up and attempts to brush the sand off her legs, but only really succeeds in taking both the lotion and the top layer of skin off. Regina just picks up her book again and says nothing as Ruby settles herself on a towel, lying on her front.

"Wake me in a half hour so I can turn over," Ruby mumbles, already half asleep.

"Yes, dear."

* * *

"I'm dying."

The mournful declaration makes Regina roll her eyes. She can't help but wince at the angry colour of Ruby's skin, however. The younger woman is sprawled, face-down on the bed in their hotel room. She's topless, her back a vibrant red, broken up only by incredibly thin lines where her bikini had protected the skin.

"You're not dying," Regina tells her.

"Oh, so you're a doctor now?" Pain and hangovers tend to make Ruby cranky. Regina generally finds it entirely amusing. Ruby lets out a low moan. "That lotion didn't do what it was supposed to."

"It did exactly what it was supposed to," Regina corrects her. "It provided absolutely no protection."

Ruby turns her face to the side, locking eyes with Regina who has perched on the edge of the bed. She sighs. "You might as well get it over with."

"Get what over with?" Regina asks, though the twitch of her lips is telling.

"The jokes you want to make," Ruby says with a scowl.

"Are you suggesting that I'd make jokes while you're in pain?" Regina asks, lifting a hand to her chest in faux shock.

"Yes," Ruby answers, without hesitation. "You can never resist a good pun. My name is Red. My skin is red. Have at it."

"Well, you've taken the fun out of it now," Regina says, with a pout.

"If you're not going to make jokes, or say 'I told you so', can you _please_ go and find some aloe vera," Ruby begs. "I feel like the sheets might catch fire any minute."

Regina turns and crawls across the bed, smirking. "You're not _that_ hot, Ruby."

"Is that so, huh? Have you forgotten about the time the drapes in our bedroom caught fire because _someone_ lost control of their faculties?" Ruby asks.

Flushing at the memory, Regina positions herself over Ruby, a knee on either side of her thighs. "That...thing you did...caught me by surprise, that's all."

"I definitely learned to telegraph my movements when in bed with an incredibly powerful sorceress, that's for sure," Ruby says. "I don't know what you think you're doing right now, but I'm physically incapable."

"You're in bed with an incredibly powerful sorceress, Ruby," Regina says, leaning closer to Ruby's back, pushing her long hair out of the way. "What do you _think_ I'm doing?"

Without waiting for an answer, Regina summons up her magic and starts to blow gently on Ruby's skin. She feels the other woman shiver below her, and watches with satisfaction as the redness disappears when her breath touches it. She takes her time and makes sure to remove every last trace of sunburn from Ruby's back. By the time she's done, Ruby has propped herself up on her elbows and is looking over her shoulder in wonder as the pain leaves. Regina sits up on her knees as Ruby turns over. Ruby's hands land on Regina's hips, tugging her up until she's straddling her abdomen. Regina tries to contain her arousal as she finds herself sitting on top of her topless partner.

"I completely renounce aloe vera," Ruby whispers, in awe.

"I was just bored of listening to you whine," Regina says, clearly not telling the truth.

"Uh huh," Ruby agrees, sitting up so that they are flush against one another, Regina's hands going to her shoulders to keep her balance. "Well, let's find something that will alleviate your boredom."

"Monopoly?" Regina asks, referencing the events of the previous evening. Another of Mary Margaret's scheduled family vacation activities.

"God, no," Ruby says with a shudder that has very little to do with the patterns Regina is drawing on her back. "We should've known that was a bad idea when there was nearly a fist fight over who got to be the racecar."

"I'm _always_ the racecar," Regina states, firmly.

"Anyway, no, not Monopoly," Ruby says, changing the subject. She wiggles her eyebrows. "I had something way more fun than that in mind."

"Oh," Regina says, as if it's just dawned on her. She smiles and raises an eyebrow. "Planning to set the drapes on fire again, are we?"

"You know I like a challenge," Ruby says, her hands sliding around to cup Regina's backside.

"Well, I think it'll be enough of a challenge to fit _anything_ in before Mary Margaret's next scheduled activity," Regina says, her hips moving into Ruby automatically.

"We're taking the night off," Ruby decides. "I'll text her and tell her I have a sunburn and you're playing nursemaid."

"You know she'll just end up banging on the door, asking what she can do to help," Regina chides. "Just tell her that we're going to spend an evening gazing into each other's eyes and talking about how much we _love_ each other. She'll leave us in peace to do that."

Ruby has already grabbed her phone from the nightstand, her thumb flying over the keys. "There. Done." She tosses the phone to the side and raises her eyebrows.

"What did you write?" Regina asks, slightly suspicious of the grin Ruby is sporting.

"Oh, you know, the usual," Ruby says. "' _Dear Snow, I'm planning to screw Regina's brains out for the rest of the evening. Please don't disturb us. Enjoy mini golf!'_ Something along those lines."

Regina smirks. "Well, hopefully that will do the trick." Sliding her hands down Ruby's arms, she pulls them back to their previous position. "Where were we?"

"I was about to light your fire," Ruby says, pressing her lips to Regina's neck.

"I'm quite disturbed by the fact that I'm beginning to find your awful lines arousing," Regina muses, her eyes drifting closed. They're the last words spoken for quite a while.

The drapes remain in tact, but the following morning at breakfast, Henry and Mary Margaret enthuse about the firework display they spotted as they were returning from mini-golf. Regina blushes. Ruby preens.


	3. Dog tired

Regina's sitting on the couch, trying to get lost in a novel that Belle had recommended to her a few days ago. She has to admit the woman can choose a good book, but her mind is elsewhere this evening. Henry's sprawled on the floor in front of the fire , flicking through a comic book. And Granny is occupying one of the armchairs, oiling her crossbow. Granny is staying with them for a while, after hurting her ankle while changing one of the beer barrels at the diner. She grumbled about it for the first day or so, but after that, she resigned herself to being looked after while Ruby took over the running of the diner.

A quick glance at the clock tells Regina it's just after ten. She frowns. Ruby opened up this morning, which meant she was up and gone before six. A goodbye kiss on the cheek while Regina was still half asleep is the only contact they've all day save for a couple of rushed texts in the afternoon to check on Granny. Regina holds in a sigh. She's always sneered at couples who needed to constantly be around each other, but she does genuinely miss Ruby when they're apart. She rolls her eyes at herself. At least she's not insipid about it like some people are.

Anyway, the moon is full tonight, so Ruby could have just decided to go running straight from her shift. Though she would normally let Regina know something like that. She reaches for her phone on the end table and checks. No messages. She looks at the clock again. It's three minutes later than it was the last time she checked. The sigh manages to escape this time and she turns her attention back to her book, trying to get through a paragraph she's started four times already.

"She's probably caught up in something at the diner." Granny's gruff voice startles her and she looks up to find the old woman smirking.

"I didn't-" Regina begins, but her son decides to pitch in.

"You've been looking at the clock for like an hour," Henry says, now grinning up at her from the floor. "When you're not checking your phone, that is."

"I was just…" She's about to lie, but the weight of their combined amused gazes stops her. "Shut up," she huffs instead, focusing back on her book.

"I think it's cute," Henry comments. "That you miss her when she's not here."

"I don't _miss_ her," Regina protests, her eyes narrowing when Granny and Henry exchange a look. "I just...was thinking that she's had a long day. That's all."

"It won't kill her to work a few extra hours, Your Majesty," Granny says. She uses the title as a term of endearment now, rather than a slur. "At her age, I could've worked every hour of the day and barely broken a sweat. This world has made you all soft."

"Yes, do regale us with tales of how you used to trek fourteen miles through six feet of snow to trade eggs for a cupful of milk, Eugenia," Regina says, as Henry hides a smile. "We do so enjoy stories about your childhood."

Granny points the, thankfully unloaded, crossbow at her. "It was _seven_ teen miles," she says, her own lips quirking into a smile when Henry laughs.

They all turn in unison at the sound of the front door slamming closed. A moment later, Ruby appears in the doorway and the dull ache that's been sitting on Regina's chest all evening evaporates.

"Speak of the devil," Granny murmurs.

"Hey Ruby," Henry calls out with a grin.

"Hey." Ruby greets the room as she eases out of her high heels, leaning against the doorjamb. Her smile is a little less bright than usual, and her eyes weary. Regina discards her book as Ruby heads in her direction, flopping down onto the couch, her head landing squarely in Regina's lap. She grins up at her as Regina captures her hand and tangles their fingers together. "Hey you," Ruby murmurs.

"I thought you'd forgotten the way home," Regina comments, bringing her free hand up to stroke some unruly strands of hair away from Ruby's forehead before leaning down and pressing a kiss there, enjoying Ruby's hum of approval.

"I couldn't get away," Ruby says, catching Regina's chin before she can sit back up and bringing her in for a brief kiss on the lips. She turns to Granny, lifting their joined hands to rest on her chest, her thumb idly stroking along Regina's knuckles. "How the hell do you do it? All week I've had waitresses yapping in my ear about shift changes and cooks complaining about deliveries being short and customers telling me the pies don't taste as good as they usually do. I never get a minute."

Granny raises an eyebrow. "Good," she says with a nod. "You think I just stand behind that counter and look pretty all day? It's damn hard work managing that place and you need to start taking more of an interest instead of just spending your days flirting with the customers."

Regina looks down at Ruby and finds a guilty smile waiting for her. "I save my best flirting for you," Ruby says with a wink before turning to scowl at her grandmother. "Isn't that leg better yet? Aren't you supposed to be a werewolf?"

Regina's been watching Granny for the past few days and she knows she's been getting around just fine. She's also noticed that her limp gets significantly worse when Ruby comes home. Not that she can blame the old woman; she's probably hardly had a day off work in thirty years. So she keeps quiet as Granny leans down and massages her leg, hissing in pain.

"Not quite yet," she says with a shrug. "Few more days rest should do it."

Sighing, Ruby closes her eyes and squeezes Regina's hand. "A few more days of this will kill me," she murmurs.

"See?" Granny puts in. "Soft."

Ruby lets out a low growl.

"Ladies," Regina warns.

"She started it," Ruby mumbles, turning onto her side so that her face is pressed against Regina's stomach.

"Aren't you gonna go out tonight, Ruby?" Henry questions and Regina rolls her eyes. No matter how many times he's seen Ruby transform, he never tires of it.

"I'm too tired," Ruby whines.

"You know you get antsy if you don't let the wolf out, girl," Granny says, testing the string on her crossbow.

"Ugh, fine, I'll change," Ruby snaps, turning onto her back once more. "But I'm not going outside. The wolf will just need to put up with it."

A shimmer of magic passes through the living room and Regina is left with a huge wolf's head in her lap. Normally she'd yell at Ruby for getting hair all over the couch, but she decides to go easy on her since she's had a hard week. The wolf is already fast asleep, long limbs hanging limply over the edge of the couch, snoring softly. Regina shakes her head, her hand moving to comb through the soft fur covering Ruby's chest and belly. Henry's chuckle draws her attention and she looks over at him, raising an eyebrow in question.

He shakes his head with a smile. "I just love our weird family, that's all."

Regina looks down at the Big Bad Wolf slumbering peacefully in her lap, while her son reads his comics and an old lady plays with a deadly weapon. She smiles.

"Me too, Henry. Me too."


End file.
